“I, Hoe, Apologize For Leaking These Photos:” A Template

10 Feb

Celebrities are often held to unreasonable standards, and forced to apologize for menial things. But what about when they’re held accountable for actions they didn’t even commit?

Lately, women have been leaking nude photos of celebrities they were involved with even more than usual. NBA players Greg Oden and George Hill, and singers Bobby Valentino and Willie of Day 26 have all seen their private photos hit the Internet. Subsequently, these guys will issue statements to their fans, apologizing for their “mistakes.”

But as ESPN’s Jemele Hill pointed out via Twitter, why should they have to apologize? Most of the time, the photos in question are from two consenting adults. Many of us have sent sexual photos or texts to people we were involved with, and we don’t owe anyone an apology, do we? Of course not, because no one found out. If these guys are married or involved, they should apologize to their families for infidelity. Otherwise, all they’ve done is exercise bad judgment by trusting the wrong person. Not a good look, and incredibly stupid as a celebrity, but nothing they owe an apology to fans for.

If anything, the ones who leak the photos should be apologizing. No matter what their intentions are – revenge, informing someone about their spouse’s cheating,  making money – they’re releasing inappropriate photos to the public. It’s wrong to publicize personal property out there and to subject others to such material, especially for personal gain. If you’ve got issues with someone, handle them behind closed doors. Or cry yourself a river, build a bridge and get over it. Either way, two wrongs don’t make a right.

So on these women’s behalf, I have put together a template of an apology that they can issue once they leak these celebrities’ nude photos. It reads as follows:

I, Hoe, apologize for leaking nude photos of (place celebrity’s name here).

The photos were private, and I shouldn’t have released them to the public. I also apologize for thinking that this celebrity would see me as anything more than the hoe that I presented myself as. My feelings were hurt when I realized that he didn’t care about me, and I acted immaturely and selfishly by leaking this photo as retaliation.

My apologies to him, his family, and anyone adversely affected by my irresponsibility. I ask that reporters respect our privacy while me and my boyfriend work through this trying time.

Short, sweet, and most importantly, accountable.

What do you guys think? Should public figures be held accountable for private actions? How much of a difference between an entertainer whose infidelity/promiscuity is exposed and when a politician’s is? Is there a double standard between different sexes when it comes to leaked photos?

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6 Responses to ““I, Hoe, Apologize For Leaking These Photos:” A Template”

  1. Rifa February 10, 2010 at 12:40 pm #

    LMAO! hilarious and on point! Couldn’t agree with you more (while smdh)

  2. HubertGAM February 10, 2010 at 12:42 pm #

    It’s pretty much just customary for celebrities to apologize because they have more at stake than the menial hussy.

    Your apology template is hilarious, but very appropriate. Publicists need to figure out how to spin these scandals back on the hussies and then they can pay you to write them a proper apology to recite to the media.

    Then again, allowing a hussy camera time is not doing the world any good either. Remember that. She will probably just end up on television even more with a “reality dating” show.

  3. Nope. February 12, 2010 at 12:26 am #

    Disagreed.

  4. Frank White February 12, 2010 at 12:47 am #

    See, you missed a classic opportunity here.

    If you were witty and accompanied this kind of thing with comparable sample messages like,

    “I, Deeply Lame Ass Excuse for a Man, am very sorry for…”

    then — and only then — this would be cool.

    But until then, the bias = #fail

  5. ketchums February 12, 2010 at 12:59 am #

    True that, Frank White. True that.

  6. beat maker's click here March 8, 2010 at 1:56 am #

    these people that leek photo’s just to try and burn the celeb they were with are absoulute looser’s. tiger wood’s got what he had commin to him but i bet we dont know the full story behind that either. if you are one of the people that leak photo’s get over it and get on with your life.

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